Oh my cold

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So, obviously, it has been a long time. I swear that there were a lot of things that could have been written in between this and the last post but I never really did. Too lazy, busy, sick or whatever the reason was, was not good enough reason for me tonight. I’m bored, cold and very sick. The season has really crept up on me and it’s doing me no good to my nose’s extent. 

 

Four rolls of tissue after, my cold has not yet subsided and i reckon that writing this post would do well to me and at least keep my attention off my sneezing little red nose. 

 

Here I am now, trying to write my “Happy Holidays!” post if it isn’t too late. For what it’s worth, I had a good one. Better than what I expected. I hope you had one festive celebration, too. Have been really scared of the holidays after having lost someone but turns out I have had a lot of additions in my life already – brand new law school buddies, friends and those who have always been with me along the way. 

 

And I have gone a long way, i suppose. I just wish that I don’t lose anything on the process which I think is nearly impossible. We always lose something – a friend, a favorite thing or even our minds, right? But of course, we always hope for the best of things – that things, at least, would not turn out futile. 

 

And alas, half-way my break things turned out A-okay. Except for this damned cold which i believe will subside in a few hours. This blogging thing has done me good, after all. And I missed writing and just talking to the space and imaginary audience I have. 

 

I hope i have not sufficiently bore you and at least continue reading –

 

Happy Holidays, dear friends! May the spirit of Christmas be with you and your family bringing joy, forgiveness and prosperity among our homes. 

 

xx

Clang

Happy Anniversary!

I just got the news and I’m sorry. Although there’s only 2 hours left before its another year for us but I am glad to have you as one whom I could always count on. Yes, I’ m talking about the blog. HAHAHAHA

 

oh well.

 

there’s a lot I can say but so little time! A new year for us, a new set of adventures!

hopefully i’ll be able to survive 😀

 

thanks for all those who have supported this blog! more will come soon just not now at the moment because I’m studying for an exam. So spare me.. haha!

 

have a great day all of you!

with love,

 

clang2

What have I gotten myself into?

I can be crazy…I can be the opposite, too.

Believe me, I can be anything you want me to be. I’ve been in different versions of myself to please myself and mostly, almost always,the people around me.

I’ve always challenged myself to be as diverse and as adventurous as possible but oftentimes I’m met with instances that make me question my decisions and even, myself. The recent years, I’ve been in crossroads that have somehow made me a little bulletproof and resilient. But that’s only true until another challenge has come before you. Lo and behold, in my adult life (post-grad), that challenge have been so eager to meet me that I’m now in it already. Three weeks and counting…It’s slowly eating me alive. It’s eating  my energy and it’s eating my spirit, too.

Yes. That’s how evil laws school feels like. It’s just 3 weeks and I’m complaining. I don’t have the right to because this is what I wanted. I know the education that I’ll be getting is beyond what we learn from the classroom because everything is like a final exam; even little decisions like whether or not I’ll be sleeping tonight. It’s tiring and I hate myself for dealing all this which I know is going to get so much worse in the near future. What have I gotten myself into? I ask myself that almost every time. But then again, nothing worthwhile comes easy. So, maybe, I just have to endure. Because I know we all want to survive, but it’s how bad we want it that’s gonna make us stay.

So, I’d like to apologize If I don’t get to post always. Talk about consistency! haha

I just missed blogging. I missed you whoever you are reading this. I miss the nothingness and the out-there feel that the internet provides. However, I cannot dwell on such technology for I am pressed with time.

Off to Lawyerdom.

 

Will probably bring my Political Alien (second blog) to life. haha sooon

 

xxx

Clang

Is there WiFi in Heaven?

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If there is. I’d be really happy.

So all my thoughts, the things I’ve wanted to say would easily get through despite the dense clouds, the millions of stars in the universe and the infinite distance between me and the other end.

I hope it’s just like how we all go to coffee shops and log in and type in the password and voila! connect to almost everyone all over the world. And because they have it in heaven too, we’d know what to prepare, what to do and what to expect.

If there was really wifi in heaven, talking to people you miss would be a whole lot easier – that even when they’re in a different dimension you can feel their presence because of this freaking-instant-gratifying technology. I would just spend two hundred bucks or so in a bookshop, coffee shop or any shop for that matter that offers wifi connection so that all the people I miss, especially Moma on a Mother’s day (like today), would easily get my e-card, my greeting and my love.

If there was wifi in heaven, everything would almost feel like heaven. You get the instant feel via IG, or the perks via twitter. But this technology, I’m afraid is only limited to human capacity and to humanity in itself. It cannot transcend beyond the unknown, to what’s out there – the space, the void, to the paradise we have all imagined in our heads.

And that’s one thing it lacks that makes it intangible, challenging and special. Because despite all the nothingness and the uncertainty you carry, you would still believe that there’s a heaven that exists. A place where all the good one’s, including our loved ones, have gone. That despite their passing, you talk to them not through the wireless connection that wifi offers but through the connections made by memories entangled by our faith in each other buried deep within our human hearts.

Happy Mothers’ Day to all the beautiful Mums out there!

Sending all my love to my angel, my mom, in heaven!

xxx

Clang2

I wish I could take my First Kiss back

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I wish I could take my first kiss back.

Back to the time where things felt simple and everything felt new, magical and an adventure.

Not in a cramped up space where I didn’t know what we were doing lost in borrowed time.

I wish I knew that was it – when our lips touched and when we sang our songs as one.

But there was not a melody to be heard nearby or fireworks to be seen.

There was no magic because it felt wasted, hastened and wrong.

That was then I knew kisses should be more than the touching of lips, the feel of each others’ breath

but the feeling…the ragged breathing and the loud heart beating.

Yes, my heart was beating. Fast. There I knew I lost something that can never be found – the magic of my first kiss.

Not magical at all. And then I understood the moment I felt naive and the moment I lost a part of my innocence.

My heart was beating fast. I lost my first kiss.

It broke my heart.

I wish I could take my first kiss back.

But I couldn’t.

I wouldn’t.

Then I wouldn’t learn.

I wouldn’t cherish.

I wouldn’t yearn.

xxx