Of all the days that I could run late, it had to be my first day of school in the New Year. When I woke up just an hour before my 7:30am class, I knew I had a grim start. It was naturally impossible for me because the travel time alone already took me an hour or so plus my dream-state mode and my shower and getting ready. I left home 6:50 am and beating the odds especially THE traffic was near impossible for me. Of all the things I hate, being late is at the top of my list. Better waking up drunk maybe I can face the shame. But being late is just a big NO-NO for me, I feel like a person going for my execution the minutes before I arrive. The scolding I can handle but the thoughts that I have before are the ones that torture me over and over again.
Now I’m in the library trying to occupy myself while my classmates are below this very room and are having THEIR class. This is how I am. I don’t attend the class anymore especially when I’m THIS late. It has always been my weakness since time immemorial. So many things have happened since then.
Well there’s a lot of schooling for me to do in the near future so I hope I get over this fear. It’s okay to be late sometimes when the reasons seem to fit. We have to forgive ourselves that to save us all the worry. I have to stop feeling like all eyes are on me like I’m being judged when the only person judging me is ME. I’ll have to get over this fear soon. I have to be on time and stop making excuses for myself. But when the inevitability of being late arises-Help me, will you?